


Force of Habit

by DimensionSlip



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: AU: Eleventh Hour, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:10:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimensionSlip/pseuds/DimensionSlip
Summary: Snapshots of how Peony deals with hearing that, for the second time around, Jade Curtiss is dead.





	Force of Habit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jeredu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeredu/gifts).



> Based on their [Eleventh Hour AU](http://jeredu.tumblr.com/tagged/au%3A+eleventh+hour/chrono/).

It's become a force of a habit, in some sense of the word.

Whenever Peony receives a report from the military with regard to a mission Jade's been on, the first thing he tends to check is the mission's statistics--or to be particular, the number and list of those who have passed on. This is something he'd never admit to anyone--a matter done discreetly before he moves on to other more mundane documents. But he does it anyway, a small sort of reassurance to himself as he waits for Jade to return from his task.

However, none of the usual relief comes as he sights a certain name listed under that section he dreads and looks forward to reading.

 **Absorption Gate**  
**\- Mission Statistics -**

_Number of casualties: 1_

_1\. Col. Jade Curtiss_

For the second time in his life, he chooses and insists it's not true. And that until he sees a body, he will continue to believe that Jade Curtiss is alive, by hook or by crook.

After all, he doesn't know what he'd do if the case were, otherwise. Especially when his heart clenches at the thought and when he finds his knees too weak to support him, glad that he's seated for the time being.

* * *

However, that all changes when Gailardia returns from Kimlasca, and comes to deliver his own report of the incident at his request.

Jade's always been that presence, that constant in his life. No matter what kind of dangerous situation he might be thrown in, no matter what kind of injury he'd incur, he'd always come back at the end of the day, with a snark or two to his face or something or the other. He's already had that scare from the Akzeriuth collapse, and he's proven everyone wrong with regard to what they believed happened.

"So, after you defeated Van..."

But when Gailardia gives him _that_ look, almost knowing what he's going to ask, he pauses, grits his teeth slightly, then puts on a more serious expression and proceeds to discuss other matters.

It's a habit he's picked up from Jade, he thinks, and the thought fills him with a sad sort of amusement. That Jade would probably berate him for entertaining the thought, being so fixated on certain matters that are immaterial next to the fate of his own country. But he'll never know now, would he? After all, Jade is...

...he doesn't really want to think about it. There's so many things he doesn't want to think about, not even the important matters he's discussing with Gailardia, the report being given to him in lieu of the one who should've been delivering it. But the world will continue to turn, and for the sake of that world, he needs to focus on picking up the pieces, being firm on their decision to turn their backs on the Score...

Jade, even with how insufferable he could be, would've wanted that. And Peony's determined to get an answer out of that question--of what _he_ would've wanted--straight out of the horse's mouth. Even if Jade's glasses are cool against his hand and still carries a telltale smudge of something they couldn't quite completely wipe off, hinting at the grisly scene Gailardia refuses to describe to him.

* * *

That was the first and last time he and Gailardia ever talk about the incident, and the rest of the month passes by in a daze. Life certainly goes on, and between his usual workload and various assassination plots, it's quite a busy time for Malkuth's one and only emperor.

Saphir is taking the news as well as he did, as expected of anyone who has centered their life goal around one certain person. All the same, Saphir remained prickly as ever, preferring to shout abuse and point fingers with regard to the incident, saying it's all Peony's fault that this happened, that Jade turned out this way, that Jade lost that beautifully selfish part of himself that has saved him all this time.

And Peony, unfair it might look like to an outsider, simply accepts it. After all, there was no use arguing with the truth, especially when it comes down to it, he holds no single regret for his actions, past and present.

Though the future may be a whole other matter, given how bleak he imagines it and how much he wishes there was this person still by his side.

* * *

Gailardia was a surprising comfort in those days, and they'd talk every so often when the former drops by to send his rappigs home. Oftentimes upon his request, Gailardia would enthrall him with stories of their adventures across Auldrant, of battles fought and of friends met, of enemies defeated and of changes wrought upon the planet as a result.

Still, Gailardia Galan Gardios is no Jade Curtiss, and it's a painful realization that haunts him when Gailardia would laugh and agree where Jade would throw a sarcastic comment back at him, when Gailardia would back down where Jade would remain difficult, and when Gailardia would excuse himself where Jade would stay and talk and drink with him until the wee hours of dawn.

It's by no means Gailardia's fault, but oftentimes, he finds himself wondering what Jade might've thought or might've done given a situation. If he would have told him to get back to work instead of goofing off in his office. Or perhaps admonished him for doing an outrageous display of his martial artes in public. Or would have realized that he was attached to him and everyone else from their childhood days once he pretended to die in one of those assassination attempts he's survived.

At the end of the month, Saphir escapes from the penitentiary without so much as a warning. Then Aslan dies and the miasma comes, and he's never felt so alone in this unfamiliar world.

* * *

When Peony catches wind of Jade's reappearance, he's caught with the same sense of disbelief that gripped him when the military sent word of him and the Tartarus being spotted off Keterburg back in the day. Of being actually right all along, despite all odds and how he's slowly convinced himself of the situation everyone else has come to accept.

But there's a sense of foreboding brought about this lengthier wait, of him waiting with bated breath for the catch, for the hows and whys of the circumstances about Jade's state of being. Because for however contrary he is, Jade isn't cruel enough to leave them all alone for this long without warning and without a word. Not unless there was something preventing him from doing so in the first place, or perhaps if it was something that Jade deemed a matter worth revealing only when the time is right by his judgment. That said, neither situation meant well at all.

Still, it's hard to think of all that when Jade finally appears before his very eyes. He finds the world coming to a complete stop, his breathing tighter than it's ever been in his whole life. He barely remembers what transpired in the debriefing, consumed by the thought of Jade being _here_ and _alive_ and Yulia knows how much he wants to _kick_ everyone out just to make sure this wasn't a specter before him--

\--only for the world to come crashing around him again once they're alone--once he brushes a hand along Jade's neck and grabs his wrist _just_ to make sure and learns that Jade, for however much he smiles and feels like the one he's always known, no longer has a pulse.


End file.
